My Surrogate Journey

22 weeks pregnant

It had always been a dream of mine to become a surrogate. I had decided to become a surrogate when I was about 10 years old. The thought came to me after seeing everyone around me having children. I wondered if that was part of adulthood. Child me was very intrigued by her environment & surroundings 😂. The goal was to become a surrogate for people who really wanted and desired it. I wanted to be the person that would help them become a family, whether a partnership & relationship or an individual. I wanted to be The One.

I received a lot of backlash from people when they would hear that I didn't want to have biological children. It was always, "Why not?... You're going to miss out!... You're going to regret it!" and so on. I chose to adopt. My thought was why to bring in more children into the world when there are so many that are in need of adoption (I see now how it could apply to surrogacy).

As I got older, my plans changed a bit. I got pregnant with my first-born, Isaiah. Being pregnant with him was amazing, and I actually didn't tell Miles about him till I was almost in my third trimester, but more on that at a later post. Time went on, and I had Serenity. They are almost 14 months apart. After having both kids, we now had 2 kids under 2. As the kids got older, our friends and family would ask us when the third child was coming and Miles would say, "I don't know. When are you guys expecting your own?" and we would all laugh and tell everyone, we have reached our limit.

As time went on, we would continue to tell people the same thing, "No more children for us." But the more I thought about it, the more it bothered me. I didn't want to not have children anymore. I wasn't done. I would tell Miles that I would like to have one more child in the near future, and that thought stuck with us for a bit. More time passed, and we both officially decided no more children. The kids were nearing school age, and the thought of having to pay for childcare and purchase baby items all over again was not ideal.

I still wanted to become pregnant. I couldn't leave that thought behind me. I needed to become pregnant. So, I went up to Miles and told him a dream of mine had always been to become a surrogate. He didn't like the idea of my having someone else's baby, and I had to stop him and reframe some thoughts. I explained it to him, and after the first few shutdowns, he agreed to go on this adventure with me. I like triple, quadruple checked to make sure he was in because I didn't want to go through with it if we weren't 100-100. And, he was in!

So, I researched some local surrogacy agencies and found one close to us. I applied and waited. I wasn't sure how long it was going to take if we got chosen, but this had been a rediscovered dream of mine, and at the time, I would tell myself, the right person or couple is going to come along.

After a few weeks of waiting, I got a call while at work. I didn't pick up but was so happy that they had left me a voicemail. I called them while on lunch and was so ecstatic to hear that it was someone from the agency. They wanted to ask me some questions and clarify some items on my application. We talked for about 30-40 minutes, and I got the confirmation, that my profile would become live soon. I was like "Profile??" The person on the other side of the phone had explained that my profile, which was my background, and the details I provided, would be what prospective parents would see when selecting a surrogate. I provided them with information about our family, our jobs, where we lived, what we did for fun, everything!

I called Miles right away and he was so excited for us! This was happening so fast!

Well, then we hit a dead zone. There was no contact from either side about the status of things. Weeks went by, and nothing. I was beginning to wonder if this was going to happen for me. I began asking questions like, "Am I not good enough?... Am I not what they're looking for?... Maybe I'm too young."

I went on with life and put the thought of becoming a surrogate aside, once more. Maybe I was only supposed to have 2 children, and they would be my own. I was okay with that. My children were all I needed.

Out of the blue, months after the initial call, I received another call. I answered the phone, and it was another person from the agency. "Hi, Linda! It's (so-and-son) from the Surrogacy Agency. I'm just calling to let you know that you've been paired with a couple! They loved your family profile and are interested in having you as their surrogate." WHAT?? 😮😮 "We will be sending you their profile with their information. If you like them, we'll match you, if not, we'll let them know, and put you back on the list."

I was in! Within the next week, I received their profile and looked it over with Miles. We loved what we read, loved what we saw, loved everything about them. They were the perfect couple for us. We waited to officially tell the agency because we didn't want to prematurely decide. We slept on it for a few nights and gave them our decision via email. They were the couple for us.

We were matched, and everything from there was a quick process. Before we knew it, we were driving down to see a psychologist, who worked with the agency to clear us for a mental exam. Once that was done, we needed to provide some blood work. Done. Once everything cleared,  I was assigned a fertility clinic not too far away, and an OB doctor.

It was time to start hormones. The hormones were very intense and had to be injected in my lower abdomen. Some, I could inject into my upper leg, and others had to be injected into my butt cheek. True story. I would do most of the injections, and Miles would help me with some. Weeks went by, and I would do routine checkups to make sure I was injecting the hormones correctly and to make sure my uterus lining was thickening.

After weeks of hormones, it was time to transfer zygotes into my uterus. We had set up a date for transfer, 3/2/13. I remember this day like it was yesterday. I went in, excited, nervous, anxious, ready. I had 2 zygotes implanted. I couldn't believe how quick it was. I spent the next few days at home to make sure the zygotes stuck.

After the zygotes were implanted,  I went on keeping up with my appointments, still commuting  to the fertility clinic, still on hormones, went in to get a pregnancy test done. Not long after, I got a call back confirming pregnancy and my levels were so high, they were thinking twins! Eventually, we got to see the embryo!

04/04/2013

Because the parents were not in the States, we emailed, Skype video chatted with each other, and got so close! We were all excited to have a confírmate pregnancy. We were even asked for baby name ideas. I commuted a few more weeks to the fertility clinic before I was transferred to my regular OB doctor.

The pregnancy was going very well! I was eating healthy, all my appointments  were going well! It was amazing! I would send the Intended Parents (IP’s) anything and everything I could from ultrasound pictures to videoing the gender appointment. They got the chance to see the 3-D ultrasound.

The pregnancy was going great till it wasn’t. I was in my second trimester when I started bleeding... a lot! I was at work, and I don’t even notice it, a coworker pointed it out to me. I couldn’t believe how much there was! I called the fertility clinic right away, and they said it was common for IVF patients. But if I leaked more than a certain amount, I needed foco to the hospital. Once I got off the phone, I we t to my boss, and she had me go home (good thing I lived less than a block away). But then I remembered that I walk to and from work, so one of my coworkers gave me a ride home. I got home, and luckily Miles was there. He had me shower & change, and we drove straight to the hospital.

Before we got to the hospital, we made a quick stop at Walmart and Miles bought me some underwear just in case I leaked and we drove straight to the hospital. Once there, we waited a bit, and then I got called back. It was such a scary experience, and everything was happening fast! We got seen by the doctor and after a few hours of being there, we’re discharged to go home. They weren’t sure what had happened and why it happened, but assured us that the baby was ok.

Time went on, and everything was fine. I was following doctors orders, and got put on modified bed rest for about 4.5 weeks.  When I returned to work, I was working part time and was actually looking for another job.

After working for a few weeks, I got another job, and worked till the birth. It was such an interesting day, as I went into preterm labor and was diagnosed with preeclampsia. I delivered the baby 6 weeks early. He was in the NICU for about 2 weeks until his parent could come to see him and meet him. They rented a house not too far from us and the baby stayed in the NICU for another 4 weeks before he could go back home with his parents.

I met his parents face to face during their time here, and they became such good friends! They will all hold a special place in my heart for a lifetime.

Taken after I delivered